Middle Passage

Chapter 1


dimension |diˈmenCHən|
noun

an aspect or feature of a situation, problem, or thing: sun-dried tomatoes add a new dimension to this sauce. 

We, the people are an interesting set of creatures with an interesting mix of attributes. Be it our colour, religion, caste, culture or our habits and languages and beliefs, the diversity is astounding. But there is one unique thing that outlines the diversity of humankind in the real sense. Man’s most elusive benefactor. 


The diversity of the mind. 


There’d be no class or religion, fear or fun had it not been for our mind. We are what we are for the mind that we give sanctuary to. We are wise yet we are dumb, we are informed yet we are clueless, we are tuned-in yet we are all over the place. We are what our minds makes of us. 


Mind is what makes us real. 


Just like any one else my world too is full of interesting people. Good, bad, not so bad, really bad, half way between good and bad, the psycho’s, the saints, the wannabe’s, the confused souls and the priceless idiots. Some of them I genuinely like, some I can’t do without and some I don’t like but deliberately keep them in my circle, albeit at a distance, just so that they help me expunge all warped sense of achievements and exploits that seed my judgement by reason of corrupt influence or swollen self assessment. They are to me what the crash test dummies are to car makers. They help me put things into perspective and stay close to reality.


Reality in my life is at the crossroads of change.


Suddenly I find myself in a situation that I had never been before. I am at a critical threshold, a stage where coming-of-age supercedes adulthood, where mental maturity eclipses virility, where mind conquers over the body. A transition only reality can bring in. A reality of incidence, new and inexplicable, moistening me to brace the consummation of this precipitous change.


For change is the only constant in my life.


For over 4 years I was patiently enduring the crippling effect of ‘routine’ on the hope that someday the rhythm of the constant will set in motion and liberate me from this plane of monochrome.Change did strike and took me to a place that I had never imagined I would go by conscious choice. Looking over the vast expanse of virgin, unexplored, magical territory that defies all expectations, especially of those from the so called civilized countries, I wonder if ‘Lady Change’ would care to take a breather because here I am in the ‘land of the Afri’ and I need some time to figure it out. 


To explore the new dimension.

An ‘Absolut’ rip off!

Plagiarism is not new, but it’s not cool either. The new Apollo Munich TVC left me speechless, obviously the good way when I first saw it. I thought it was one hell of a ‘disruptive’ idea executed in a stellar manner and definitely beyond comparison. I went gaga about it, encouraged everyone in my office to see it and appreciate the ingenuity. What an idea! Woo hoo...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7z81vCwS44

But as they say good things don’t last for long. So did my good notion about the ad. It just went poof. The Pandora’s box revealed the gory truth and there it was. The business of ideas had fallen prey to the idea of business that’s completely unethical. Oops we did it again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O16C1ZLuyI

Are we as losing our grip? Or is it becoming too demanding for us to think, fresh and new? Whatever be the case, we end up losing on all counts. Clients feel cheated, the industry gets the stick, respect takes a walk and advertising loses its sheen.

We could get away with this maybe 15 years back and we sure did many a times, but now it’s a different ballgame altogether. There is no outwitting the Internet. You will get caught and probability is not part of the equation in this case.

Losing faith compounds faster than losing virginity in this industry and you are history. RIP.

Having said that I am sure there would be many of us who’d jump on it and say, well that is what we call ‘inspiration’. The product in this case is different from the other. The brief had a unique objective in mind and what came out of it was to support the objective set by the client. We are in no way saying the same thing.

Absolut-ely yes, and there is no disagreement on that. But I am pretty sure the client did not mention “recreate the Absolut ad’ in the ‘thought starter’ section of their brief to the agency. For all you know the client doesn’t even know there exists an ad, which surprisingly looks like theirs. Maybe they are annoyed at Absolut for copying their ad.

Or am I really underestimating the client in this case? Hmmm…. probability wouldn’t mind a wildcard entry on this.

But it’s just criminal. I cannot imagine how this entire episode disappointed me, because I truly believed in the ad. I was the biggest supporter and promoter there could be. I feel so cheated now. It’s like a nightmare. In my case it would be more like finding out that it was not Maradona who actually scored all those amazing goals, it was someone else, an invisible man shadowed by a visible Maradona. I’d be shattered. Thank my stars that the truth hasn’t surfaced, yet.

What happened to the big idea, the magic of words and the reverence of the ingenious? The world envies us for who we are and we should strive to earn more of it than allow such rip-offs tarnish our image.

‘Let’s un-complicate’ things by rationalizing the inept and fly-by-night approach to advertising and ‘doing something different’ that ‘leads to something exceptional’.

The Calling

In the last 48 hours there’s been an invariable surge of superfluous insinuations much of it in a rather cryptic manner but undoubtedly strong enough to drive me out of my slumber and call for an argument. The plot could have lost its steam had it moved on its own course of logical reasoning but based on the circumstantial hints that I was bombarded with I am urged to take a voluntary lead and light the fire right away.

Here’s how it all somehow started. I was glancing through my blog when I came across a comment that was posted against a write up way back in December last year. The write up was on recession. Not something that would get me the Pulitzer but I chose to be vocal about it because I was too damn infuriated for an opportunity lost because of that. I even did some research on the net, to establish that this was not the only instance that Uncle Sam was responsible for it and that they have been consistently working on it since c.1797. Just right at the moment when I finished reading the comment, Genius on iTunes decides to play ‘blame it on the a-a-alcohol’ by Jamie Foxx.


Anyhow I finally managed to decipher from the jungle of hints that the comment was the real source of the flame and it had a rather unusual indignant slant to it, which left me intrigued.

When you find a comment as to “Why are agency people always such big bores? Never to the mark always beating round the bush which everyone is aware off. Bring out ideas rather than creating another me-too product” on the subject of global recession then you must realize that there is a problem.

The amusing part in the entire comment if you’d notice, had nothing to do with the topic but was surprisingly directed towards me (read profession and how a profession defines an individuals point of view) as opposed to the normal ‘for’ or ‘against’ point of view of an individual on a subject.

Now the myopic interpretation of this could well be that he is one ‘ignorant-fool’ and there are many more alike walking the earth right now, so beat it. But I am not convinced. Don’t get me wrong. I am not contesting your verdict about this guy nor his in-and-out-of-rehab clones spread around the world. They are unquestionably uncontested airheads and we are glad to have them in our world, they are fun. But what I am more concerned about is the perception, the allusion and the scorn that they carry with them to their grave. Don’t you think we should relieve their puny brain off this grave burden? They deserve a chance. Don’t they?

Not so long ago I used to work on the other side of the food chain. I represented the ‘client’ and had point of view that of my own. We discussed ‘ideas’, ‘strategies’ and ‘way-forwards’ with the incumbent agency and on instances more than once arrived at a decision, whether through multiple rounds of peaceful discussions, arguments or walk-outs. But I loved the way work happened. Love and hate did collide but there was an enormous amount of respect that both parties had for each other. It’s business at the end of the day and we have to achieve our target. It was as simple as that.

Let me throw it open, just for arguments sake. If agencies weren’t the reason for brands like Absolut, Apple, Nike, Adidas, Coca Cola, Fevicol and Amul to become such big names, then what or who were? Is it not the aura of the brand that works as a facilitator or the converter for the company? Aren’t targets met because sales executives get their bit of support from the brand equity? Are profits a mere reflection of the performance in sales or is it also largely an outcome of the solutions in various forms that agencies put together?

As clients if we did not believe in the idea and the conviction that agencies brought to the table as solutions to the problem then we would have never done it (just do it) nor thought about it in any other way (think different) nor aspired to take it two-up (let’s make things better) all by ourselves. Flip side lets not forget that the client is much a benefactor of the idea with its bold and decisive stance by accepting the risk in doing things that are not necessarily safe or conventional.

Now when such comments that classify ‘advertising professionals’ as a specific class of people who resort to recycled ideas and solutions, have nothing new to share, are flashy and gimmicky and use the ‘advertising’ skin to hide their shallow identity, you just cannot sit back and say ’well that’s life for you’ as one of my Facebook sweetheart says.

If you dig deep you would probably find that these people rely on some kind of a manual. And the manual must have a checklist or a classification code that identifies advertising professionals.

• Piercing (both men and women)
• Smoking (both men and women, not necessarily cigarettes)
• Drinking (both men and women, not necessarily alcohol)
• Long hair (kept only by men)
• Short hair (kept only by women)
• Flashing cleavage (both men and women)
• Returning home late (both men and women and more so if they are married)
• If they are married more than once
• If they are not married and show no signs of heterosexual devotion
• Anything that is too normal or a deviation from the above
• And anything that is not mentioned above (NB: Advertising people are good at fooling you)

My journey back to advertising was calculated and thought through. I had learnt the tricks of the trade and rules of the road, I am used to handling money in millions and I surely know what goes on down there, the field. I am confident, one-up in the client-agency game and drive their business as if it were my own. I know as much as they do about their business and at times maybe a tad more. Maybe that's the reason I enjoy their respect even more. They see value in what I bring to the table and I am quite happy to belong to this side of the meadow.

If this is not the calling then what is!

Tell me why?

My quest to understand the phenomenon of the global downturn and its impact, that treacherously tends to ricochet off far away lands remotely responsible for the economic catastrophe, brings me to the pages of history and leaves me baffled and dumbstruck. Hello… people… will anyone tell me why no one ever bothered to tell me that Big Bro has consistently through ages been juggling (read screwing) with our happiness. Who made them the financial controller of the global economy?

Guys, I am disappointed, extremely disappointed. Why didn’t you tell me? What took you so long?

Now that we are drifting, precariously though, and without an oar, depending on the current to take us to the shore as soon as possible, we should much rather invest out time making our economy robust such that we depend less and less on the USD and make INR to most sought after currency in the world. Don’t ask me how because I am not an economist but guess what? I can refer one to you right away, Mr.Sen, Amartya Sen. India has produced the finest of brains that the world has ever seen but unfortunately all of them are sitting out of ‘Meltdown HQ’ and once again don’t ask me why. No one bothers to ask me at the very first place.

It’s my firm belief that if we let such brains rule our country we would definitely achieve what Singapore did in a span of just 20 years. Look at them now. Albeit still dependent on the USD in a big way but the country they built out of nothing is commendable if not enviable.

I am not too sure where this discussion rather discourse, or honestly put this monologue is heading towards but all I want to express is my deep resentment, after my much deserved enlightenment, towards the monopoly of the West. Who created this order, this arrangement and made us slaves of western influence? Why can’t our country just get up and do it. What stops us from being a Superpower?

FYI. Look what our brother(s) from the west has done to the world since time immemorial and we still don’t take them to court.

Tell me why?


Credit: Chart - Wikipedia.

Up up and Soaring!

The current topic of discussion everywhere is probably the Mumbai Terror strike and in all probability the focus has visibly shifted from the terrorists to the government now; the measure, planning, next step and so on. But unfortunately my discussion yesterday, with one of my friend, was still wobbling like a gramophone head in and around the same note of severe repugnance towards the media. And today, the revulsion was duly fanned by one of ‘them’ with utmost sincerity.

An e-mailer (Picture 2) was sent to me from a news channel claiming stuff that I am absolutely and completely doubtful of. I would simply not ride on an event ‘like this’ to promote products, services or commodities like ‘stain removers’. My call is purely from a ethical point of view. There is nothing positive about this and certainly not something that should be glorified.

My question is, “should a news channel claim supremacy, purely riding on an event that has claimed so many innocent lives and which is an act against the sovereignty of a nation?” I am wondering how important it has become for everyone to create a proposition these days to stay ahead.

Interestingly an article carried by the Times of India (Picture 1), today explained how TRP is soaring for these news channels and how everyone is trying to get the maximum coverage out of it. During the attack TRP for news channel tripled to 130% and general entertainment channels’ dropped by 40%. What does that mean for the news channel? Well if I interpret it by drawing the e-mailer as an element of manipulation I would say ‘make hay while ye may’.

Suddenly the government takes the brunt for something that is not surprising. The government screws up on everything. Governments are meant to screw up a nation, so what’s so new about it and especially in India. We consciously elect hopeless people without even thinking twice, because we follow the family tradition. Vote for Congress or BJP or CPM respectively because we have consistently supported them for generations. Well if we did not make this mistake for generations probably today innocent lives wouldn’t have been lost.

Why don’t these news channels report news that make a difference? Why don’t we see them spending half their airtime straitening up the system or the government rather than reporting news on ‘wardrobe malfunction’ or celebrities caught kissing in a nightclub? Why do we not see the ‘breaking news’ or the ‘exclusive’ tag when a common man dies because of exploitation, hunger or poverty?

I am tired and sleepy after a long days work and I can’t go on describing how pathetic and unethical this is.

Guys do something…

Breaking News

Beat this. “What is your location as of now, how many yards or steps away are you from the Taj where the gun-battle is going on. How do you feel being there?” A question posed to a reporter from the studio. And that’s Arnab Goswami for you. And that’s not all. If you were watching the reporting on the News Channels during the terrorist attack in Mumbai you would’ve surely noted many more of these mindless, muted, dim-witted and absolutely irrelevant questions being asked by the so-called big names of Indian Journalism. Is this journalism? No way, absolutely not. Banish me to the remotest island with no food and sustenance but I would still not agree. This is nothing more than prostitution in the name of news. Spice it up, add sensation to it and put it up to the highest bidder.

Fourth Estate is what it is referred to but I am forced to believe that it’s been relegated to nothing less than cheap gimmick and sensationalism: subjective opinions in place of hard facts, heightened emotional and melodramatic proclamations as against neutral reporting and lopsided claims over powering impermeable facts and figures. That is the state of news reporting in India, especially TV news reporting in the backdrop of the appreciating ‘TRP hungry’ media currency.

If you’d watched closely the entire terrorist attack covered by the news channels you’d agree with me when I say that it was nothing but a circus of newsmakers. Starting from how news was branded to how everyone claimed exclusivity for the coverage. The ‘breaking news’ banner covered half the screen and the ‘exclusive’ title stamped everywhere. Even a different shot/angle of the same incident at the same time and location was termed exclusive by these channels.

Barkha Dutt standing in front of the Trident and making all sorts of weird assumptions with her eloquent histrionics, Arnab Goswami putting words in to his reporters’ mouth, literally asking them to lip sync to his statements which sounded more like a child trying to seek attention, Rajdeep Sardesai indiscriminately cracked his sad one-liners and questioned the authority even before the ordeal ended. Each and everyone trying to grapple with the most they could get out of this.

But in this no one really cared or bothered about the real incident, the tragedy. Each and everyone of them were far more engrossed in glorifying the terrorist attack rather than helping the people in Mumbai and the country at large with some real facts.

A quick snapshot of the historic statements (as far as I remember) made by some of these Journos during the ordeal:

Arnab Goswami: “ The photograph of 2 terrorist caught on tape by Times Now, exclusively by Times Now. No one else has this tape. Only Times Now has this exclusive tape” and he went on repeating this till the cows came home. The 10 seconds or so recording had nothing substantial on it but 2 silhouettes walking into a small by-lane.

Barkha Dutt: “As you can see behind me is the Trident, where at least 100 odd people are held hostage by the terrorists. We cannot yet give you the number of terrorists who are holed up inside the Trident. According to my top sources in the cabinet, I am given to understand that the PM has spoken to the President of Pakistan and asked him to share information on the attack.” By the time she used her contacts and found out the news and showed the Trident to the world, New York Times, Guardian and the Herald had broken and published even more classified news and information on their website.

Rajdeep Sardesai: “ Can you give me a better shot of the bullet mark on the window so that our viewers can understand where the action is taking place.” As if the count of the dead was not conclusive enough.

Not to forget the way that these journalists interviewed, covered and shadowed the celebrities, the rich and the influential during this period and completely overlooked the common man. No news or coverage of the people who were shot dead at CST, Leopold or the India Gate. None of these ambassadors of the Fourth Estate invited any common man to their studio, interviewed them or even took their point of view. Did we find a mention of any unknown name on TV or in the newspaper? But we sure did find a celebrity being covered for the loss he suffered. We found a socialite being given more newsprint coverage than the 2 young employees of Yes Bank who were shot dead at CST. Indeed its sad that a well known figure lost his sister and brother-in-law, indeed its sad that a Times of India columnist fell victim to this macabre and India grieves for everyone who lost their lives, but how do we explain the sheer lack of concern and interest in covering the loss of the common man. Is it the fear that common man will not sell or because newsprint and airtime currency is not meant for the common?

No one cared to talk about the hardworking staff of the hotel killed at the same time the elite and the rich were, rather while trying to save the lives of their elite clients. No one cared to cover the tragedy of the policemen who took the bullets while saving others. Finally when the horrific episode was over a small obituary column was all that was spared for them. How sad and inconsiderate.

The Arnab’s, Barkha’s and Rajdeep’s were engrossed more on profiling their channels and furnishing credential of their field reporters than doing their actual job, otherwise known as news reporting.

Albeit this is not the right time to raise such questions and point a finger but sooner the time will come to face introspection. Notwithstanding the fact that media plays a vital role in bringing out the truth and sanitize the society whilst we see the rise of the Machiavelli.

Buland Bharat Ki Ulang Tasweer!

Before I kick-start my pre-election analysis here is a quick trivia for the decision makers of this country. Since 1993 which city in India has been repeatedly exploited, raped, molested and tortured by terrorists or the so-called messiahs of God?  Yes, you have guessed it right. It’s Mumbai. And guess what your reward is for answering this correctly? You get to rule the country for another 5 murderous years. Isn’t that great?

 Just like another hapless Indian (genuinely so) I am going to shout, rant and rave and eventually blame my fate for the state of chaos that reign’s supreme now (as I write). I have no other way to express myself or be of any help and assuming that the decision makers of this country need no help or my (read our) opinion, I voluntarily choose to opine. Part of the fundamental right in a democracy they say is freedom of speech. Don’t be surprised if I land up in jail tomorrow for actually using it.

I have no clue as to why innocent people are always mindlessly and mercilessly executed.  And why are we continuously allowing this to happen? Is there a reason that this cannot be stopped? Or are we too lazy and inept to take charge and stop this forever?  Are we always trying to dodge the issue and find a subject to blame? If you ask me, yes we are. Our alibi starts with the terrorists and then the government, the system, the ministers and bureaucrats, our economy and so on. Do we blame them or do we hold the inner health of human coherence responsible at the very first place? Tricky isn’t it?

But I certainly know for sure, this isn’t right. Not right for people who has nothing to do with it. Not right for people who had (and has) no part to play in this confused prophecy and self-proclamation. Not right for the people who were probably working hard to make a living. Not right for the sake of humanity. Not right because it just isn’t.

For decades this city has suffered the brunt of groundless terrorism and yet stood up every time like a ‘hit-me’ toy. Do we see that as strength or weakness? Well I see that as severe exploitation. Why does it always have to fend for itself? Why can’t the city be protected and looked after? Why can’t we look after the city that has put us on the world map, the city that is the lifeblood of the entire country?  Why do we always leave the city fending for itself?  Isn’t it time we stop voting and take charge of this country from the hands of such gutless, scheming architects of corruption.

You want us to believe terrorism cannot be stopped? Well at least it can be controlled, intercepted and countered. What stops us from creating a situation where terrorists think twice before they plot an act like this? Well according to me, (a person who has no clue of military science or combat theory) it can easily be done by putting in place a system that automatically intercepts such orchestrated attacks. Action plan 1 – invest in the security management of the nation and Action plan 2 – set an example.

I am sure there are many of us who still believe in ‘non-violence’ and I wish every soul on the face of this earth believed in it. But unfortunately the families who lost a mother, a daughter, a son or a father did so because of violence. When a little child steals or does something inappropriate, we teach the child to not to do it because it’s wrong. If the child repeats it we try and instill the logic of right and wrong through words. If the child does it again we resort to punishment. It’s time we do the same to these unreasonable, soulless parasites who are certainly not children or innocent gullible human beings. They are devotees of mass destruction and we should not encourage them by sitting on our ‘lazy-boys’. Every time this happens hundreds of homes lose their loved ones, an irreparable damage that none of us probably understand.

But over and over again we have looked at this as a personal loss for each of these families and not as a loss of the nation at large. It’s just not acceptable. Good or bad, I don’t care anymore, but lets for once give it back the same way they gave it to us- ‘an eye for an eye’. No more forwarding our second cheek. Take one give back two, I say give back as many as you can.

But this can only happen when we take change with our pants on and not let these preposterous dhoti clad ‘brittle bones’ take charge of the country. They cannot put up a united stand during a telling time and have repeatedly failed us and made us look like a bunch of losers,

But I don’t believe in being partial. So I would ask a question to each of them and if they successfully answer the same the city will be theirs again.

Dear Mr.Thackrey’s (Raj & Balasaheb): Where are your men who run amuck across Mumbai beating innocent people because they are not Maharashtrian’s? Would you care to spare those men for this task, please? Can we also have your ominous presence inside the Trident or the Taj? Please, please, please.

Dear Mr. Chief Minister of Maharashtra. When I saw you last time you were at the Filmfare Awards enjoying your son’s performance with a fellow female actor on-stage. Will you please come to the Nariman House and have a small chitchat with the terrorists please?  Dinner is on the house.

Mr.Advani and Mr.Prime Minister. Sir how have you been? How was your flight? I hope you got the business class seat. Was it comfortable? By the way, out of curiosity sake, may I please know where have you been all day? Oh I guess you were giving company to Mr.Vajpayee and Mrs. Gandhi respectively. Charming aren’t they? Oh by the way which hotel are you booked in Mr.Advani? Did I hear Taj? And you Mr. Prime Minister?